In the April edition of BLAC Detroit Magazine, seven African-American men share their opinions and personal experiences with relationships and love in Detroit in a roundtable discussion, moderated by J. Nadir Omowale. Click HERE to read a transcript.
The Men:
- Army Mechanical Engineering Technician Allison Hester, 46, has never married but wants to
- Detroit Public Schools Teacher Spencer Murray, 46, is divorced and remarried
- Hair Stylist Antonio Mosby, 37, has never been married
- Locomotive Engineer Darryl Yarbrough, 45, is divorced and in a committed relationship
- Attorney and WDET’s New Soul Sunday Host Nick Austin, 29, has never been married
- Musician, Producer and Writer J. Nadir Omowale, 42, has been married for 12 years
- Retired Engineer Erick Hardy, 64, has been married for 41 years
Nadir: How would you describe the state of Black relationships in Detroit?
Al: A lot of people want to paint the picture that it’s doom and gloom on Black love in Detroit, but my experience has been just the opposite. I like to think that I’m wise in my choices and that I pick fairly smart women [to date]. They know what they are looking for in a mate and what it is they have to give of themselves to be in a relationship.
Nadir: We hear stories about there being a shortage of good Black men, all over, not just in Detroit. From a Black male standpoint, how do you guys see that?
Spencer: I still find it difficult to buy into. I certainly think there’s a shortage if you are looking for a particular type of Black male. If some female has a list of what she wants and things are not meeting up to her list, her perspective can be, there’s a shortage.
Antonio: “I need a man who is sensitive to my needs. I need a man that’s a good friend. I need a man that’s a good lover. I need a man that’s supportive. I need a provider.” You might not find all those qualifications in one particular man. Some of these lists are ridiculous. I do hair and I deal with women all day long, and I hear this all the time.
Spencer: I’ve been married for a short time now. This is my third marriage. And one thing I’ve come to understand is people become better in a relationship. I used to believe you get married and the next day that person has become everything you want them to be. But I see now that it’s a journey. You still have to put in the work.
Read more of the discussion at BLACDetroit.com